Monthly Journal: August 2018

We just got back from our family vacation in Hawaii and I'm somewhere between very happy to be home and not quiet ready to come back to real life. I have yet to check my email, set an alarm or put on make up. Coming back before the weekend was a gooood idea. But back to reflecting on August, before the big vacay!


 
 

Aug
  2018
 –

 
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We started the month strong by driving to Napa to visit a friend/client and it was great to see her, meet her son, and soak up some of the summer that SF does not have; June had a few no-nap scares where she'd go three days in a row without falling asleep during nap time, but then go back to her trusty (and gloriously long) naps; spent hours researching and finally signing June up for a swim class and dance class that will start next month; attended the first Squarespace Circle meet up and met other people in my city who also love using Squarespace for work; started working through an online course to help heal the ab separation I discovered last month, which was graciously gifted to me by a friend who never used the course; finally caved and bought some comfy sneakers for our long, hilly walks in the city; June used her last diaper for bedtime and started sleeping in undies and has had no accidents so far - so impressed with her; went to a clothing swap, got rid of probably 200 items and brought home 3 - goal, met; we started having a lot more sunny days in SF; Chris' parents came to visit and we packed a lot of awesomeness into 2.5 days ...and then vacay but that needs it's own post!

 
 
 
 
 
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June's eye thing

Mid-August I noticed June started doing this weird thing with her eyes when she's holding something up close. She holds it to one side and one eye goes so far to the side it looks like she's crossing her eyes. At first she was doing it with both eyes and it seemed like she was just playing around, but later in the month it seemed to be happening a lot more with her left eye. Now it happens every time she looks at something close to her, like she can't help it. Luckily this started right after I made her an appointment for a check-up so we'll see what doc says at our appointment in just a few days!

 
 

in a weekend grove

For a while I was feeling blah about the way we spent our weekends. We either did nothing and stayed home, which we do love doing despite feeling a little lame when people ask what we did over the weekend, but it usually leaves us feeling more restless than restful – or we'd get out and go do something that usually didn't feel quite like us and left us super drained and wondering why we left the house. Ha! #introverts
The past few weekends we've found our grove. We take it slow in the morning, have breakfast and coffee and let June watch some cartoons. (Which I can fully enjoy with no guilt since she's not watching so much TV during the week, thanks to our new routine) Then we get ready and go on a little walk or catch the trolley and have lunch out and maybe ice cream. Then we'll head home, put June down for a nap and Chris will chill at home while I go thrifting or sit at a coffee shop or outside to read or write. These weekends – or the ones spent at the pool or beach – have felt like the right balance of rest and adventure for us and I'm pumped about it.

 
 
 
 
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Reading reading reading

This month I spent a lot of time reading and learning in areas I felt like I needed some help.
I read/am still reading through:

Women of the Word by Jen Wilkin
Parenting by Paul David Tripp
Your Brightest Life Journal by my friend Caroline Kelso Zook
(Caroline was one of my business besties - before I started a business. I'm just crazy proud of her and the work she continues to bravely share with the world... so yeah, I'm totally shouting "I KNOW HER!")
Being Boss by Emily Thompson and Kathleen Shannon

 
 
 

Reflecting on my goals for August

I successfully connected with old and new friends each week of August, got outside in the sun every chance I got, and kept a quick journal of the day's events and how I was feeling every day. Just as suspected, all of these things proved to be winners in the mental health category.
While I never really narrowed down which time of day I'd like to spend catching up on social, I definitely spent a lot less time on my phone altogether. The time I spent on it was much more about documenting real life, and less about scrolling through little bits of other people's lives. Okay, and online shopping for Hawaii
I totally gave up on starting Whole30 when I realized our first day home from vacation would be Sept. 1 and I just really want to Day 1 to be on the first day of the month. (Probably just an excuse to put it off.... totally just an excuse.) But I have been cooking almost all Whole30 recipes for dinner to prove to myself that Chris and I can survive without quinoa or rice with dinner, and I don't have to cook separate dinners for each of us. It is now on my calendar for October 1. (!!!)

 
 

PLANS/GOALS/HOPES FOR September

As mentioned above, I'm actually going to start Whole30 in October – so in September, I will plan at least the first week of meals, buy groceries and supplies, take before pictures and measurements, and make a list of the results I'm hoping for and post them for motivation.
We'll be starting weekly activities for June this month (swim and dance) and my friend that I usually switch off with is having a baby, so I want to figure out a good new weekly routine for us.
There are some really exciting things in the works for both The Honest Boss and The Business Bar, and my overall goal is just to move forward with the ideas and dreams without letting fear hold me back.


 
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I'll just be over here soaking up the last bits of Summer!

 

–– JB

 
How We Spent 168 Hours

In March of 2018 I tracked how I spent my time for a week.

My goal was to see how I was really using my time and how much time I actually spent on certain things vs. what I thought I did. My plan was to add up the hours and see where I could edit my life to squeeze a little more productivity out of it.

That week was (not surprisingly) one of the most productive weeks of… maybe the year. A spreadsheet is a good accountability buddy. I woke up early, worked out, knocked out chores and snuck in extra work hours. I networked and hung out with friends.

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I felt awesome; I felt tired; I felt worthy; I felt drained; I felt productive; I felt like I should do more.

We were just a few months into living in San Francisco - far away from our family, friends, and free child-care - and even though I felt settled and comfortable, I still very much felt like I hadn’t found a “balance” in my jobs – being a mom, keeping our home, and running a business. I always wanted more time with June and more time to work; always felt a little guilty that I wasn’t doing more ___; rarely fully enjoyed the moment I was in because I was thinking about the other 864 things I needed to be doing.

Okay, I’m sounding really down on this and it wasn’t all bad. We squeezed in a lot of fun, I got a ton done, I made time for healthy habits, I grew new friendships and still spent a lot of quality time with my people.

 

This time-tracking project came from a book I was reading at the time – 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think by Laura Vanderkam. I was soaking up productivity books, articles and podcasts at the time and this was a good one. The main message that stuck out to me was that there are enough hours in a week to do good work and a “big job” and still spend a lot of wonderful quality time with your people – you’re probably spending more time with them that you think, and less time working than you think. Hence, the time tracking to learn the truth.

If you’re curious, my log is below!

If you’d like to do it too – here’s my Google Sheet you can steal. Just make a copy and start trackin’!

 
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Look at our schedule now and it will look almost the same.

  • We still try to knock out chores at the beginning of the week – and still try to plan our week/meals on Sunday so we’re set!

  • We still switch off doing play dates with a friend so each of us gets a couple extra work hours and the girls get time together (and time to practice sharing.. ha!).

  • I still try to wake up before June to get a few minutes alone, but I prioritize getting more sleep and work out at home with June, go for a walk, or work out after Chris is home. This has given me back my Sunday afternoon alone time since I no longer need to nap to catch up from the sleep I really needed.

If you do this practice– let me know how it goes and what you learn!
I’m already ready to do it again. I expect I’ll always find new ways to get more out of my time, and at the same time become aware of how I’m incorrectly measuring my worth based on my productivity.

 
Waiting for perfect

For a while, I’ve said that my ‘thing’ is going to be sharing how I’m blending working and mom-ing. What’s working and what’s not. Just today I realized that the reason I haven’t felt like I could fully step into that is that I’m waiting to feel like I’m finally doing it right so I can share the “what’s working” part. In true perfectionist form, I want to be killing it in my business and be super mom at the same time. I want to be all in for both - fully present and energized for every moment a get with each “job”. 

It’s just not the truth. The truth is - I’m still struggling. I’m struggling to find a happy blend of time and energy. I still don’t know how much work I can take on, or want to, or should. I’m not sure how much money I should even aim to make or exactly how much is worth it. I’m never satisfied with how much work time I have or how much time I’m spending with June. 

 
 
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There are so many things I feel like I should be doing. In the mom category: I should take June out more, she should be around other kids more, she should be in ballet or gymnastics, we should spend more time learning letters or Spanish, she should have more time independent from me. In the business category: I should be marketing my business, showing up on social media, creating content, sending a newsletter, networking, following up with past leads, working on the 84658456 ideas I have to make the business better and more valuable for people. 

I can’t even reference a quote because I’ve heard it so many times – some form of “we need to drop all of the things the world tells us we ‘should’ be doing”. But my “shoulds” are coming from me. I know what I’m capable of when I have all the time and energy and inspiration, so when I’m low on any of those - which these days is always - I’m letting myself down with by my lack of performance. I judge myself based on my output, my productivity. It’s just never good enough. Since perfection isn’t possible, I’m always aiming for better and never totally satisfied. Even though I know the truth – that my worth is not based on anything I do, or don’t do – I need the reminder every moment. 

Jordan BrantleyComment