Hello, I'm Jordan Brantley, and I'm a recovering perfectionist.

I'm craving the real real, sick of the perfectly polished.
But I can't quit! I'm a total perfectionist.

This is my first step towards recovery. 

Jordan Brantley and the flying coffee cups!

In an effort to practice "shipping" content before it's my idea of perfect, I'm going to start sharing more here + an audio blog (can't bring myself to call it a podcast) on Anchor. More of the mess, the real, and what's actually happening in our day-to-day.

This is scary! The pretty, curated grid is safe. You don't have to hear me fumble as I figure things out. I have as many takes at editing as I want before publishing.

I'm pushing past the thoughts of "why would anyone care to listen?" and "is this even worth my time, let alone anyone else's?" because if another mama was in my shoes – trying to build up a strong business and a strong little girl; finding her way in a new city, across the country from what was comfortable for so long; on top of all the other pieces of "real life" – I would want to hear her thoughts. I would want to know what she's trying, what's working, and what is just totally not working. 

So – if that's you, you can find those real thoughts here.

Even though I want to type "I'm going to try to..." so badly right now, I'm not! I'm going to commit to sharing the real real, right here (and on Anchor), every week. 

*Going to feel all the vulnerability regret now – and then get over it and keep going.*

Listen to my first (awkward) audibly documented entry on Anchor or via the player below. (including two options – tell me which one you like!)

The paci "broke" and we survived.

*Like anything I ever share, this is not a how-to post; this is a here's-what-worked-for-us post.


the sad-but-so-cute footage

Not pictured: me tearing + hiding in the background. My heart still hurts re-watching this! Ahhhh.

We planned multiple days when we'd take away the pacifier. But.... mama wasn't ready.
I decided we reeeally didn't need to do June's first plane trip ever without every possible comfort source. So, about a month into living in San Fransisco, I was out of excuses. I knew the best thing for June was saying goodbye to the paci. (Wahhhhhhh)

Chris' parents had given us all the deets for what they did. Honestly, we couldn't help but be a bit skeptical that it would work as well as they said it did for them. June really loved her paci. The actual problem (as usual) was that I worry about things more than necessary. Most stress occurs before "stressful" events for me. I call it pre-stressing. And it's sad that I have a name for it!

Okay, back to what worked.
One night before bed, we cut the nipple off June's paci and casually gave it to her with her "night nights" while she was watching a show on the couch before bed. When she discovered that it "broke", we acted surprised with her and comforted her but told her it wasn't fix-able.

Like every time I've ever worried, I really didn't need to worry. She was such a trooper. She definitely kept asking us to try to fix it with new batteries and "tapey-tape", but it didn't take her too much longer to fall asleep the first night. (I think the fact that she still had the fall-asleep comfort of her little lamb blankies helped a lot!) We tried to make it a non-event and let her hold it in bed. It got better every day until she forgot about it in about a week. 

Now she says "'member I had a paci when I was a baby?" ... Like it was years ago. 

I leave you with 'The Best of June and Her Paci'. Not dramatic at all. 

PS. If you're in the please-give-my-baby-a-paci phase instead of the it's-probably-gone-on-too-long phase, here's a link to our favorite Natursutten pacifier.